Moving Back to Jamaica

A blog about my Move Back to Jamaica after 20+ years of living in the US. Most of the articles focus on the period from 2005-2009 when the transition was new, and at it's most challenging.

Saturday, January 07, 2006

Getting Old and Leaving My 30's

One of the benefits of Moving Back to Jamaica is, of course, the much warmer weather.

Yet, at the moment I'm sitting at my desk overlooking Constant Spring and feeling cold -- and as I exit my 30's this year it makes me think about getting older.

I don't know what it is, but with advancing age my tolerance of cold weather has radically decreased. I remember when I was 18, and going to college from Jamaica to a school in upstate New York (Ithaca.) It was a shock, to say the least. That first Christmas away from home was spent in Toronto, and I remember turning back home after attempting a walk to the nearby convenience store. The 10 minute walk felt like torture the minute after I left my aunt's house.

After graduation I gladly moved to New Jersey, to warmer weather, at 22. It seemed to be much warmer.... until I reached 29, and that started too feel too cold (I took to wearing long-johns indoors to try to stay warm.)

A move to Florida was a godsend, but even Florida has winters, and by the time I reached 37, they were just too much.

Now that I'm home in Jamaica, I'm at my keyboard wearing my sweater, sweatpants and socks on what must be the windiest, coldest day of the year. It must have dropped to a "dangerous" 60 something. I seem to remember walking around in shorts and a T-shirt in this weather back when I was in New York, especially when spring came, and the sun made a re-appearance after months of absence.

With age has apparently come an increasing intolerance of cold weather, and hopefully it will get no worse, as there are not too many places I can go that are warmer than Ja...

Also, guys, with respect to aging, have you noticed that the old you get, the more attractive "older" women seem? (I suspect that the same applies to women also.)

I distinctly remember when I was a mature 21 year old, walking through a mall in Bridgeport Connecticut, and noticing that many of the women my age were walking with children in tow. I remember thinking to myself, how "old" it made them seem, and therefore too old for me (a College Junior at the time.)

I guess all that's happened over time is that I, myself, have aged... or is it "matured?"

While a younger woman may seem pretty and even beautiful to the eye, it can all get destroyed in an instance by what comes out of their mouths. Or to say it more accurately, it can all get destroyed by what their minds tell their mouths to say...

My own experience of being married (this is my second time around) has taught me that marriage is more a meeting of mind and spirit, than it is a meeting of bodies. During my interlude between marriages, I dated and met women who might not have been beautiful in terms of their God-given attributes, but revealed a beauty from their words and way of being that has stayed with me until now. I dated and met others who were pretty exclusively....but.... I can't remember anything they said for the life of me.

When it comes to looking for a spouse, for practical reasons it seems to make better sense to focus on the mind and spirit, because one thing we know with absolute assurance is that in the long run, physical beauty is impossible to maintain. It's a mighty struggle for most women to just keep their weight on target.

On the other hand, the beauty that starts from the inside.... hmmm. If that kind of beauty is noticeable in a woman's, then it's a good bet that (barring tragedy) it will only deepen and expand over time. In fact, I've become a real admirer of the kind of beauty that starts from the inside, and shows itself in physical ways. How? By a woman's chosen level of physical fitness, their choice of clothes, their choice of hairstyle, their choice of nutrition... these have become much more important to me. I'm more likely to appreciate a woman who I can tell has been working on and with herself, than a young 20 something in a tight dress.

Guys: To put it in more basic terms, trust me on this: when physical attraction based on God's free gift wears off (which, again, it must over time) something must be there to replace it, and that "something" does not include more expensive makeup, targeted liposuction, strategic face-lifts, better clothes, cooler tattoos, dental repair, improved hair colouring, etc. The truth is, better sex comes with someone with a better mind (to put it crudely.)

When I was younger, I recall looking at older men and women and wondering to myself, "what do they see in each other?"

Now, I don't wonder as much. Instead, I know that I'll be walking in their shoes. In fact, to some fresh-faced 21 year old, I probably am!

At age 4 . . . success is . . . not peeing in your pants.
At age 12 . . . success is . . . having friends.
At age 15 . . . success is . . . having a drivers license.
At age 20 . . . success is . . . having sex.
At age 35 . . . success is . . . having money.
At age 50 . . . success is . . . having money.
At age 60 . . . success is . . . having sex.
At age 70 . . . success is . . . having a drivers license.
At age 75 . . . success is . . . having friends.
At age 80 . . . success is . . . not peeing in your pants.


At 2/05/2006 7:46 PM, Blogger smallislandgirl said...

I love this post especially the part about appreciating the inner beauty in women I have to show this to my girl friend becasue we sometimes feeel that all men are superficial and the older we get the more invisible we seem to become I am 33 and its starting the thing is we feel that way about me n I will take a guy who respects me and treats me well over a Tyson Beckford look alike anyday but for men it seems they all want suprmodels and the older they get or the more sucessful they get it seems the more they are like that so its truly refreshing to hear your views on the topic.
Sorry for the long post but this just moved me and I had to share my feeling.

At 6/09/2006 12:43 AM, Blogger ceelybee said...

Wade, I loved reading your piece on "Getting Old and Leaving my 30s" - I found it interesting, comical and loaded with sensitivity (an attribute women often complain men lack). You have proved them wrong indeed. Keep your musings coming.

At 7/28/2006 10:07 PM, Blogger Yamfoot said...

re your not being able to tolerate the cold much, have you checked your iron levels? I know that iron deficiency causes that.


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