Provocative Take on Organized Religion

The chances are good that when someone moves back to Jamaica, they are coming to a country that is extremely religious, and also extremely violent.

It's no accident that most of the religions practiced claim to be correct, denounce others that they see as incorrect and speak in a way that induces fear in the minds of those who aren't "members" in order to get them to convert.

Unfortunately, this is not only a matter of atheists vs. "the rest of us believers", but it also includes:

• my religion vs. the other religions
• my denomination vs. the others
• my church vs. the others in the denomination
• the time of my service vs. the others in my church
  
• people in the church who share my beliefs vs. the rest
  

I know people who will argue that baptism is not enough, but that it must also involve the right amount of water, at the right age, with the right words and in the right direction (backwards, forwards, etc.)

In other words, a returnee to Jamaica is likely to notice that here in Jamaica there are a lot of people being right about a lot of things, and spending a lot of energy making other people wrong. (Of course, this extends to politics as well.)

Against that back-drop, I read a post by Steve Pavlina this morning that is not for the faint of heart, or anyone who is not willing to think or is prone to react based on emotions only. His post is entitled "Ten Reasons You Should Never Have a Religion" and it reminded me of the dilemma I had when I left Jamaica at 18 only to discover that the kind of Baptist I happened to be, did not exist in the U.S.

In other words, a "Jamaica Baptist Union" kind of Baptist was not white, black, mixed, Southern or anything like the churches I found in the U.S. It was what it was, and its beliefs were just... local and specific to one sect in Jamaica.

I liked to think at one point that all Jamaican Christians were the same, only to realize that there were many who had already condemned me to hell because I wasn't baptized the right way, for example. I was amazed when a Christian friend of mine advised me of my peril, as a way to get me to come over to his church.

As I said, his post is provocative as it's MUCH easier to see where other religious people are making the errors in judgment he describes.

MUCH easier.

We however, are lucky, because we happen to be right, and we know that we are right. Right?

Being right and making others wrong does have a certain violent quality to it, even when its done "for their benefit."

Here is the link to the post. http://www.stevepavlina.com/blog/2008/05/10-reasons-you-should-never-have-a-religion/

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More on the Inner Move to Jamaica

I have posted before on what makes the return to Jamaica so much of a challenge, and that it has little or nothing to do with the crime, the poverty or the moribund economy.

Instead, I argued that in my case it was more of an inner journey than anything else.

I have noticed however, that compared to the life in Hollywood, Florida that I left, a life lived in Jamaica is astonishing in its sheer volume of (possibly) upsetting incidents.

I remember once when I lived in Florida and there was a short power-cut that was talked about for days. In Jamaica, we had our second island-wide power-cut in a year and it wasn't even worth blogging about. It came and went, and by the time the next day was over there were ten other things that happened that pushed it to he background.

Although Jamaica is a small country, the way in which life is lived for me has changed a great deal, from focusing on days to focusing on minutes.

In my mind I compare it to that scene from "Saving Private Ryan" when the armies of the Allied Forces are storming the beaches of Normandy. The action was chaotic and happening so quickly, that a soldier just needed to live until the next moment, and the next moment, and the next moment, until they either made it to a safe bunker or received a bullet in the head.

Such is life in Jamaica, and there are some real bullets to contend with at times. The sense I have had is of always waiting for something to happen, and sure enough, something comes along and well... happens! By contrast, life in Florida was marked for me by not too much happening, because life there had a certain kind of steady reliability due to the degree of safety, security, consistency and an abundant supply of just about everything one could hope for.

A returnee or an expat moving to live in Jamaica, may find that they need very different coping skills than they have ever possessed. For example, if they are used to thinking about problems for long stretches of time, they may find that they are unable to have that luxury.

If they used to talk through their problems in a weekly phone call with their best friend, or in a weekly therapy session, they may find that a weekly conversation is just too infrequent to deal with all that typically happens in seven days.

As my wife and I say to each other: "We have got to up our game."

And that is what many who move to Jamaica are unable to do, and why returnees and expats alike fail to make the transition, and are unable to deal with the fears, stress, aggression, breakdowns and threats that are presented each day, hour and minute.

What can one do about all this?

1. Be Prepared
This involves more than just packing the right stuff. It means preparing oneself mentally (and spiritually) for a challenge, and gearing oneself for a big change in the way life is lived

2. Be Accepting
The worst thing to do is the resist the facts about living in Jamaica, and to continuously complain that things should be any different than the way there are. Funnily enough, accepting them wholeheartedly and completely as they are is the key to adapting and even changing them.

3. Be Open
After coming, one needs to be extremely flexible in order to keep moving when the daily crises occur. The mind and spirit must be facile enough to deal with the unexpected, and also brave enough to imagine being caught in a gun-battle a mile away from one's home.

4. Be Tough
There is a certain tough-mindedness that is needed to live and work effectively in Jamaica, and expats in particular talk about how they had to learn to develop a demanding tone of voice, a no-nonsense style and even a brusque physical manner. This is not about bullying, or using force to scare people, but instead about standing firm for what is right, and for a certain kind of personal justice.

5. Be Aggressively Learning
This involves not only seeking out new experiences in Jamaica, but also travelling abroad to learn new skills to bring back to deal more effectively with life here. The time away is invaluable -- even if it is spent in a mall. Many women attest to the fact that "retail therapy" does provide a welcome break, even if new skills are not learned. There are many opportunities for personal development and training, also, that are more specifically designed to develop new skills and I recommend that both returnees and expats include time away to help themselves to "up their game" when they return home to Jamaica.

I recently had the opportunity to attend Byron Katie's "School for the Work" in Connecticut, and it fit the bill in my case. It involved 9 days of ongoing practice in using a technique that I have found to be useful in dealing with upsetting, angry or otherwise stressful thoughts and feelings. In the vast periods of silence around which the course was built, I was able to take many a deep breath and practice working with hundreds of stressful thoughts as they arose in my mind.

After returning home, I have found a definite peace that comes from dealing with these thoughts as they arise on an ongoing basis. The technique is very simple, and is amply demonstrated on Katie's website in numerous videos and audios.

This is not the only course of its kind that is offered to the public, and in Jamaica programmes such as the internationally available Landmark Forum are offered also.

The point here is that these resources are available, and they offer the kind of training that might not make sense to do when living abroad, but are absolutely vital to "upping our game" once we return or move to live in Jamaica.

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Tyrannical Shoulds

In recent blogs I have been hinting that a successful Move back to Jamaica is more than just a physical move, it is also a spiritual one.

Not religious necessarily, but spiritual. Moving Back successfully often entails a remarkable inner journey, in which one is confronted with personal barriers, obstacles and prejudices. The real story about Moving Back is not ultimately about how to pack a container, but how to thrive in an environment that is at times dangerous, depressing and dogmatic.

Given that most of the moves back home are from "better places," when the move is a voluntary one it marks a decision to take an action that goes against the prevailing wisdom.

"Yuh mad or what?" is expressed far more often than "Welcome home."

The reason to move home, and the choice to take the road less travelled are just the beginning of a long inner journey that starts with a personal decision, which reminds me of the U.S. Marines motto - ''The brave, the proud, the few."
While everyone should visit an army base at some point, not everyone should join the Marines. Everyone should visit Jamaica, but not everyone should come back to live.

For those who make the decision, however the instant it is made marks the beginning of an intense personal struggle involving one's own doubts, commitments, plus finding a way to navigate the ''helpful" comments of others. Of course, there are also the scary circumstances to deal with - the rampant breakdowns and the mind-numbing bureaucracies.

Obviously, the Jamaica that the returnee is coming home to is going to be a lot different than the country being left (otherwise, why return?) That goes without saying. For the vast majority of Jamaicans abroad, the difference is a negative one that prevents them from ever coming back.

The important question is: How does the returnee stay true to whatever original vision created the desire to return, as opposed to getting caught in the numerous mental potholes that exist?

In other words, are there ways for returnees to better equip themselves to take on the challenge of returning?

I have participated in a couple of courses that have nothing to do with emigrating, but everything to do with creating an inspiring vision and keeping it alive. I recommend them both as possible venues to start to be trained in dealing with the mental or personal challenges that seem to come alive whenever we humans try to take a quantum leap to better ourselves.

The first is a series of programs offered by Landmark Education. The second is based on a book called Loving What Is.

In a former life, I led public seminars as a volunteer for Landmark. The courses I lead followed their basic program called The Landmark Forum. Fortunately, The Forum is offered in Kingston twice a year, and in most major cities in the US, Europe and Asia.

Moore recently, I took a weekend course with Byron Katie, the author of Loving What Is.

Katie (as she is called) focuses her work on dealing with reality, and the thoughts we have about what is happening around us in our lives. Suffering, she says, comes from getting stuck in thoughts that weigh us down, preventing us from fully embracing what is happening at any moment.

When we are able to effectively question our thoughts is when (and only when) we can be free. From my experience, the most pernicious thoughts are those that have a heavy "should" component.

For example, here are the few that run through my head:
- Jamaica should not have so many murders
- The politicians should be serving the needs of the people
- The police should be less corrupt
- There needs to be less bureaucracy
- This could only happen in Jamaica
- De people dem too dyam tief
- Things are too expensive here
- It is way too hot / rainy / humid / dry
- De mosquito / madman / pothole / noise (dem) is unbearable
- Life here is too hard
- The US/UK/Canada is so much better because...
- De people too gravilishus / licky-licky/ wanga-gut/ nayga-like/ lazy / violent / aggressive / ungrateful / greedy etc.

At the heart of each of these thoughts is an unwillingness to accept reality, and a wanting life to be different. Nothing wrong with that... except when we refuse to fully accept life the way it is right now.

That sounds quite simple, and based in common sense, yet there is a powerful human mechanism at work here that takes serious practice to overcome. The vox populi in Jamaica is dominated by strident calls against "what should not be happening."

It is quite easy as a returnee to fall (or relax) into this general, disempowering tone.

Over the past 2 or so years of using Katie's materials (available free from her website) I can safely report that it has helped me tremendously. How? I have found that the moment any kind of anguish or suffering starts, I am now much better at nipping it in the bud using her simple formula - 4 questions and a turnaround statement.

I know expats, returnees and even Jamaicans who have never left who indulge themselves in endless rounds of "what is wrong with Jamaica." This perpetual game is one that prolongs their personal suffering, as new items are sought out daily to be added to a growing list.

Using Katie's tools, I find that I have been able to increase my capacity to remind myself (when I find myself indulging also) that ... Jamaica(ns) should not be any other way that is. Why? Because it is exactly the way that is, and no other.

It has taken me many hours, tens of pages and lots of study to begin to see some consistency of application - my own inner journey has been slow, and I am far from mastery. But this growth is important for us returnees, even critical, if we are to succeed in fulfilling our dreams of returning "in style."

We Jamaicans abroad talk a lot about "setting ourselves up" before returning - preferably with a fat bank account, a 2-story house, a source of foreign exchange and at least a 1-year old SUV.

We might be right about the preparation needed to thrive in Jamaica, but dead wrong in thinking that the things that need to be prepared are tangible. After all, a well-timed hurricane, theft and recession can undo all those kinds of safety nets.

Instead, the best kind of preparation might be the kind that quickens the inner journey, and shows up as a willingness to learn, an openness to new ideas in any area, a love of adventure, an ability to self-reflect and a courage to tell the truth. If our being away in "farrin" has been about getting "set up" with these things, then it would have been time well spent.
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Some quotes from Byron Katie

When you argue with reality, you lose -- but only always.

I am the perpetrator of my suffering -- but only all of it.

What is is. You don't get a vote. Haven't you noticed?

Reality is God, because it rules.

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